Taking a Cue from the Trees

I can't tell you how many times I've sat down to write. Blogging has been a part of my story ever since Andrew and I got married. It's been subject to the ebb and flow of moving, babies, loss, and mostly reliant upon when I've felt inspired. If I were to look at the number of posts I've published this year (and in the past couple of years), it would be fair to say my blog could be deemed, as Miracle Max declared; "Mostly dead".

Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to write! I have countless thoughts and beginnings in draft, but none that felt qualified for the publish button. Some things I've needed to write for myself, just for the sake of processing. Other things were an attempt to force creativity and fell horribly flat. I've questioned if I've taken it all too seriously, or as in the case with my painting, that I've just lost my mojo. I've seen with other disciplines that certain things just require practice. However, my underlying premise for these creative outlets has been to write or paint "For the joy of it."

I haven't looked up the last time I posted, but can tell you it's been a long time. The painting area I set up has also been long neglected, with brushes going untouched for well over a month or two. This bothered me for a while, but I've come to peace with it. I've know that I can't measure my worth by anything other than what God says about me, so when some things slip through the cracks, it's okay. If or when those things resurface, it will be for the joy of it. It will be genuine, and meaningful for me, and hopefully for you, too.

The other day as we were driving home from church, Olivia noted how the trees were looking ugly without any leaves. I told her while that may be true, the trees needed a rest from a full year of growth and producing. In accordance with the rules of being a 6 year old, she asked: "Why?". I returned a simple answer: "Well, it's their time to sleep." To think about this further, we see that with anything in nature, if something is forced to produce, it will eventually run out of energy. After a time, hens run out of eggs, grass grows and dies, fruit bearing bushes will reach their peak and need to be plowed under, and as Olivia saw, even the trees need to sleep.

Seeing God's order in creation has reminded me that rest is natural and good. If the trees need to take a powder, then it stands to reason that you and I do, too. Waiting for my mojo to return has been a form of forced rest. It's found me savoring a slower life. It's enabled me to do more prioritizing, and allowed for greater depth in my ministry to my family. This has looked like more reading aloud and audio books with the girls, feeding my brain with different podcasts I wouldn't have made time for, pouring more thought and time into what food I put on our table, decluttering our home, and made more breathing space in general. It's brought peace.

At 6 months pregnant, I find myself tiring out and overwhelmed far more easily than I was even few weeks ago. I couldn't have anticipated when this slowing down would happen, and see it as the Lord's great kindness to have limited or even restricted what, who, or to where I might've committed my time and energy. My nature is to do all the things, see all the people, and produce-Produce-PRODUCE!!! For most of my life, my DOING has been a great part of my identity and self worth, so when my blog, painting, and ability to do a lot of things has hit the skids, it's required some heart reassessment. Ultimately, He has guided me to peace in this resting time. I'm not saying I haven't fought it, because I certainly have tried (and worn myself out). Rather, I'm seeing the benefit and absolute rightness of this mandated stillness.

For right now, I'm taking a cue from the trees, and letting the hard grown leaves fall from these branches. It's time to rest. It's time to put away any guilt for not going hard and producing. I'm feeling the call to be more of a Mary than a Martha, and remember Who calls me to the better things.

I know I can't be the only one, so I'll ask. Is the Lord calling you into a season of rest? Is your value wrapped up too much in what you're doing? Are your yeses (to even good things!) limiting the depth of your current ministry? Will you remember the trees and unburden your branches? If this this you, I'd love to hear your feedback in the comments, or a pm! For those of us doers, resting can be a struggle, but it's one worth fighting for.